“To you the Renaissance is just something that happened to other people. Isnt it?” Lord Blackadder.
“This is me in a desperate yet obligatory attempt to address your last remaining braincell, which has been screaming for help for the past decade, hoping that this message might get through …For the sake of 250,000 years of human evolution please please please “Shut the fuck up!!!”
“Let me present your award :
Jerk-off of the year.. no.. bastard of the year.. don’t tell me.. “Guy I despise so much I’d pay someone to kill you and stuff you and leave you by my bed so that when I wake up in the morning I get to roll over and punch you in the face”………… of the year”
(by Dr Cox)
“I do realize that the life of someone with the intellectual capacities of a lobotomized lolcat, the social skills of a microwaved amoeba and a face that explains Picasso’s cubist period, must be hard… but that does not make you any less unbearable! Now to get back on topic…Yes I do want fries with my burger. chop chop!”
“Look its trying to think!”
(that guy from twin peaks)
“What you just said was very interesting and has touched me in soooo many different ways…. Now if you ll excuse me i will close my eyes and go through my imaginary portal to another dimension where you are not a complete idiot! When I come back I expect you to not be here. “
“We live in an age where illness and deformity are commonplace, and yet, Ploppy, you are, without a doubt, the most repulsive individual I have ever met. I would shake your hand, but I fear it would come off. ” (Black adder)
“Your brain is like the four headed, man-eating haddock fish beast of Aberdeen…
It does not exist. ” (Black adder)
“I m sorry if i gave you the impression i wasnt listening to what you were saying but i was going through the list of things i enjoy more than listening to your mindless ramblings… Shooting myself in the foot, getting infected with an exotic flesh eating virus, watching a 5 hour long “behind the scenes” making of documentary for Lost In Translation, getting infected with a domestic flesh eating virus oh errmm and shooting myself in the foot… twice. “
Albert Rosenfield: “Where do they keep his water dish?”
“Someone once said that people are “bastard coated bastards with bastard filling” and i thought it was a good joke … and then you came along…”
“You need to realize that i ve had more interesting conversations than this with 1) my shoelaces 2) A suspicious looking cabbage 3) telephone poles and 4)people from “Oprah’s” official fan club… Now I will give you some life altering advice that will make you less of a burden on our allrdy decaying society… Make yourself useful and stop wasting our oxygen!”
“Theres sooo many ways to describe my feelings for you right now… I really dont think i will be able to pick the right one… Hmmm wait wait they all have something in common…Strange …. For some reason they all end with Get the fuck away from me!!!”
“I understand now that you are a figment of my imagination since no real person can ever be this stupid…What i do not understand however is why my mind would play such a cruel trick on me. I expect you to turn into a pink unicorn and then disappear inside an explosion of rainbows or something equally retarded any minute now.”
“It was meant as a clever joke but sitting here studying you and the mystery of your existence made me realize you are a fine example if not solid proof of Reverse Darwinism! “
“I understand now that there is order in the universe… An underlying balance, invisible to the naked eye… For the obviously vast amount of stupidity that seems to give meaning to your existence, there is a being of superior intellect working hard for the good of humanity and all that is pure and noble in this world. This balance of course does not mean that I dont feel the urge to punch you in the face but at least it gives me strength to resist it for the next 5 seconds… Time which is more than adequate for you to crawl back into whatever sewer of this decaying society decided to spit you out as a joke on the rest of us.”
